Unleash the chocolate ecstacy...ON YOUR TONGUE!11111111

[Hunter Morrow]

Thats the friggin' tagline for Fred Smoot's new energy bar, SMACK!
No joke.
Its being put out by 3way enterprises. Once again, no joke.
Ah, this really brightened up my so far terrible day of learning the Persian-Farsi script alphabet.(108 letters, are you !@#$ing me?!?!?!?)

[wang_chi7]

There's just too many jokes to say about this, I better not though as this is a clean website.

[jackal]

those almost write themselves don't they

[Swaps]

what is his company name?


Sex Boat Candies LLC?

[Colinito]

The ingredients are awful!!! It's basically a candy bar.

The Ingredients: Semi Sweet Dark Chocolatey Coating: (Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (palm kernel and / or cotton seed oil), Skim Milk Powder, Cocoa, Cocoa (processed with alkali), Natural Vanilla Flavor, Sorbitan Tristearate (an emulsifier), Soya Lecithin (an emulsifier), Salt), Honey, Almonds, Semi Sweet Dark Chocolate Chips: (Sugar, Chocolate, Cocoa Butter, Milk Fat, Soya Lecithin (an emulsifier)), Rolled Oats, Soy Protein Isolate, Vitamin & Mineral Blend (Dicalcium Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Ascorbic Acid (Vit C), Alpha-tocopherol Acetate (Vit E), Biotin, Zinc Oxide, Niacin, Ferrous Fumarate (Iron), Molybdenum Glycinate, Calcium Pantothenate, Copper, Manganese, Beta Carotene (Vit A), Selenium, Pyridoxine (B6), Riboflavin (B2), Thiamine (B1), Chromium, Cyanocobolamin (B12), Folic Acid, Potassium Iodide), Dutched Cocoa (cocoa processed with alkali), Brown Sugar and Sea Salt.

Okay, I personally don't eat anything with partially hydrogenated oils (trans fats), which are totally unhealthy. Then he's got sugar, milk fat and milk powder, and tons of isolates. Isolates, which are used to enrich or beef up the nutritional value of the bar, are misleading because they are not easily digestible by the human body. The better option is whole, non-denatured foods. The presence of all those isolates and dairy products also make the bar very acidic, and muscle growth is inhibited by acid. You actually want alkaline foods to help stimulate muscle tissue repair.

Basically, it's a lump of #### in a fancy wrapper.

For those seeking a more legitimate energy bar, I recommend (for mainstream users) Odwalla bars, and (for super health nuts) Prana Bars or Organic Food Bars (in a bright yellow wrapper).

Or you can make your own:

1 cup fresh dates
1 T hemp protein powder
1 T raw flax powder
1 t Maca powder
1 t Spirulina, Chorella, or algae (or any super green)
1/4 cup blueberries
1/4 cup walnuts
1/4 cup almonds
1/4 cup unhulled sesame seeds
1 t lemon juice
1 t lemon zest (peel)


Blend all ingredients thoroughly, add 1 cup of oats (or buckwheat if you are allergic to gluten) and knead mixture and form into a brick. Slice into desired bar size pieces. They are sticky at first, but if you let them dry it's all hood baby baby!

Recipe from Brendan Brazier, the first vegan Triathlete.

[Hunter Morrow]

Big Daddy Kane approves, but he thinks the energy bar isn't healthy and is in fact No D4MN Good for you.