But... but... but, that is just NFL locker room culture! All of those things are just boys being boys!
Look, there is definitely a line between joking around and bullying. My friends and I talk 'derogatory' to one another from time to time - but we know where the line is and we are 100% joking when we talk that way. In public, none of us talk the way we talk when we are texting/in a group to other people in society. Call it a generational thing, but most men my age talk, for lack of a better term, '####' to their friends. If no context was ever present, this '####' talking could be totally be blown out of proportion.
I played sports for years. I understand how a locker room works. In the present day, I am around college athletes. Athletes are going to talk to each other a certain way, it is just the way it is. More than likely, it is just '####' talking. I have yet to see an example of pure bullying.
Nevertheless, Jonathan Martin was not subjected to 'locker room horsing around,' he was bullied. It doesn't help matters that Martin is more than likely suffering from a mental disorder (yes, depression is a mental disorder). The easy thing to do is say Martin should have had the skin to tell Richie that he didn't like the way he was being treated. However, it is not easy. In fact, trying to befriend the person who is bullying you is a strategy many people who are bullied try to do. It appears that as time wore on, the bullying progressively got worse for Martin and his mental disorder became increasingly more stagnant as well. It is unfortunate, but it appears that Martin felt trapped. It appears that he felt that he couldn't stand up for himself.
If I may, I want to add the subject of bullying and share a story: I was bullied when I was young. I was 'fat' for years as a child (in fact, I was always 'fat' until I finally had enough and dropped over 50 pounds in 2011). I remember distinctly having few friends until around 4th grade. I remember constantly getting called fatty, and other names while not being fully accepted for years. In particular, this one boy, Dillion, would taunt me and make me do what was known as the 'triple chin' fat dance. I was always too afraid to stand up for myself. Then, one day in 4th grade, I joined Taekwondo. Taekwondo taught me many lessons (lessons I still try to follow to this day) and it taught me how to stand up for myself. I never physically fought my bullies, I used confidence and words. I stood up for myself and refused to let the bullies get the best of me. Eventually, the bullies got tired of trying so hard to get to me and quit.
Eventually, after dealing with my bullies in 4th grade, things started to get much better for me. I was able to turn my 'fatness' into sports capability. I accomplished much as a football player and a Taekwondo student from 5th grade until I graduated high school. It is funny, but eventually those bullies of mine became football teammates. I even beat one of the bullies out for the starting spot at left tackle in 8th grade - he quit football after that. In middle school and high school I was never bullied directly by anyone. However, even though this is terrible of me to say, I think the 'sweetest' thing was seeing one of my bullies two years ago at a gas station. His life has really gotten off track. Not only was he sent to a juvenile school in 9th grade for drugs, he has gained over 60 pounds. He looks awful. It is never my objective in life to wise bad upon anyone, but I would be lying if I said I was not grinning a little upon seeing him a couple of years ago. The better part was that I was with two of my best friends when I saw him. Coincidently, my two friends were also bullied by the same guy in elementary school (unfortunately, we did not know each other well enough in elementary school to bound together to battle the bullying). It was a small bit of justice for all of us that night.
What does my story tell? Well, it shows that dealing with bullying directly can deter bullying. However, I am not so ignorant that I am going to say that Martin is at fault because he cannot deal with his bullying. Not everyone has the ability to deal with their bully head on like I did. The people that cannot need help. They don't deserve to be subjected to their bully and be shamed by society at the same time. I hope that Martin is getting professional help to better help him manage situations in the future. Or at the very least, I hope he will at least know when to seek help should a situation like this occur again.
This whole situation is very unfortunate. I feel even though Martin was telling the truth, he will be black listed in the NFL. I just hope that Martin is getting the help he needs and deserves.
We really should get back to the days where molesting a woman with a golf club or being charged with assault were badges of honor that a man could wear proudly. I can't believe our society has become so politically correct that such behavior isn't celebrated.
